One day and $500 later...

My job last week was to get the truck registered. It was important not only because you have only 60 days after moving to Maryland to do so without a fine, but also because the old Texas registration expired in June, and we were driving illegally on the sly. It was a fairly complicated endeavor, which we had not postponed out of sheer procrastination, but out of necessity while with cut, bit by bit, though all the red tape that was required before they would even give you a number at the MVA. So after legally changing my name, having Jon's parents send us a notarized bill of sale, notarizing our signatures on the bill of sale, and waiting for my new social security card to come in the mail, on Thursday, I was ready.

The day before, I had made an appointment for a safety inspection. They usually run about $30 in Utah, so when the first place I called told me $85, I laughed to myself and said I would "call back", fully intending to find the $30 place and never call that place again! My subsequent calling yielded me answers of "$89.95", "$90", and so on...so I went back on my internal vow and did call the first place back. Yikes! $85 for a safety inspection?! But what else can you do? Luckily, we have kept the truck in pretty good shape, so I didn't anticipate any repairs. And I was right...the truck is in great shape. Except, apparently, tint (even a very light one that comes standard on the truck) is illegal without a certification sticker, which we didn't have, so we could not pass the inspection! Oh, and the wiper blades needed replacing. We could either make an appointment with with police to contest the policy in our specific case, scrape all the tint off the windows with a razor blade, or pay $70 to have the shop remove it. After a phone call to Jon at work, we decided on the latter. We were headed on an out of state road trip the next day, and really needed the registration asap...no time for police or razor blades. And, might as well have them replace the wiper blades while they're at it...add $30. ($30 for wiper blades?!) Add $100 to the initial $85, and the truck passes!

Now, on to the MVA (like the DMV...in Maryland it's called the Motor Vehicle Association). I managed to find the place (I swear they hide them) without too much trouble, but of course the first time I went, I didn't have all the papers I needed...("Oh, you need to see my new social security card and my marriage license?...Oh, no problem...I'll just run home...Oh, my husband and I both have to sign this form...no biggie, I'll just stop by his work on the way home..."). And thus, I found myself making my second trip to the MVA for the day.
I, a new resident to the state of Maryland, was bringing a lot of business to the MVA that afternoon (yes afternoon. Did I mention I started the ordeal at 8am?) So you would think I would be treated very kindly. I had to transfer the title of the truck, register the truck, and change my drivers license over to a Maryland one. Could they help me with all of those things? Nope! Two lines...one for drivers licenses, another for vehicle title and registration. Better do the license first. (How could I forget? No competition, no customer service.) So I take my first number, and I wait, and wait, and wait. And since they have like, four types of numbers (each beginning with a different letter) I have no idea if my turn is getting closer or not. I think they are trying to drive us all crazy. Luckily, I have brought pretzels and a book. They serve me well. Except that, I have just taken a bit of a pretzel when they finally call my number. And I'm so flustered that I forget to put a marker in my book. And then I'm worried that I have pretzel in my teeth when they take my picture. Oh well.

Not sure what takes so long, but the lady just sits there typing and clicking away, and finally looks up and says, "$48." I still don't have my own check card, (you don't even want to know what we have been through with banks) but I have Jon's debit, and since you can enter the pin, and I know the pin, I've never had a problem. Only, they only run cards as credit. I swipe it, and she looks at me like I'm some sort of criminal and says, "Is he here? He has to sign." (No, he is not here. If he had been here, I wouldn't have had to drive to his work to have him sign that silly form, now would I have?) I sigh, scrounge up $48 cash from my wallet, and hand it over. That was toll road cash for our road trip. Oh well. After a couple minutes she hands me my new Maryland drivers license (she kept my Utah one...I'll bet she's gonna sell it on the street to some kid who doesn't even look like me...for how cranky she was they couldn't be paying her that well).

Now I head back to the line, which is much longer by now, and wait. Eventually, the attendant reviews my documents, verifies that I have everything (she seems surprised...the attendant has switched by now...little does she know that I have already had to make a trip home), and gives me a number. "Wait!" I say, "Do you know how much this will all cost?" (Now that I know they won't accept our debit card I need to sneak out and get some more cash...unless it costs less than $3.76...I still have $3.76 in my wallet). "Let's see" she says, cheerfully. "It'll be $36.75 for sales tax," (the car "cost" $0 in the "sale" from Jon's parents. Apparently 6% of $0 is $36.75), "$50 for the title, a $25 registration fee, and..." (she glances down at my paperwork) "is this a pickup truck?" I nod. "$150 for the tags" she finishes, and smiles up at me. I smile back, feeling faint. And I take my number, and run to the bank next door, where I hit up the ATM for $300, and sneak back into the MVA to repeat the waiting game. Only this time, in the title and registration section, there is a super annoying bugle sound every time a new number flashes up on the screen. Maybe the title and registration workers are all mutes, and can't actually call out the number. I go back to my pretzels and book (I haven't had lunch yet, and it is well after lunch time...) trying to ignore the bugle sound.

Finally the bugle alerts me to my number, and once again, I have just taken a bit of a pretzel, so I chew quickly and approach the desk. At least there are no pictures this time. This lady is actually pretty nice. She turns out not to be a mute, and, noticing my book, asks what I am reading. "It's called 'An Assembly Such as This'...it's a take on Pride and Prejudice from Mr. Darcy's point of view." We chit chat for a bit about literature. She has seen the movie, 'Pride and Prejudice'. Cool. She doesn't seem to be in a hurry, and while I appreciate her interest, I can't help but think of the long line of numbers behind me. But who expects efficiency from a government agency? She processes my paperwork, hands me the new plates and stickers, and says "$261.75". Good thing I'm prepared...no light-headedness this time. I whip out a stack of 20's and hand them over. She tests them all to make sure they're legit, hands me my change, and I'm done. I can't believe it. Am I really done? Yep. One day, and $500 later, I have a Maryland drivers license, and a legal car. And I'm making Jon put on the plates.